Is Solitude A Reason to Die?

I've been listening to Blink-182's debut album 'Cheshire Cat' these days. The album was released in 1995, and it has my favorite punk rock song ever called 'Carousel'. One of the many reasons i love Blink-182 is that they have tons of musically and lyrically thought-provoking songs. 'Carousel' is one of 'em. It's about growing up, like most of  the songs in their early days.

Written by Tom DeLonge, 'Carousel' has a very interesting line; "I know not a reason why solitude's a reason to die." and it did provoke my thought. At the first time i listened to that line, i instantly asked myself "Is solitude a reason to die?"

It feels like facing a mirror, everytime i listen to the song, i see myself; a human being who is considered as an introvert. I don't go out much, i don't hang out, i kinda hate crowds, i spend time with my family and a few closest friends.

My friends see me as a loner, i love doing things like reading books and watching movies, so i spend most of my time at home. I cannot find any interesting thing in hanging out. To be honest, i hate to hang out with friends at some boring places like bar, pub, beerhouse, restaurant, or whatever it is.

I like to eat and have a cup of coffee in some cozy restaurant or coffee shop, alone or with my family or closest friends (the few best ones). But if that 'outdoor activity' gets interfered by some random friends, i'll definitely lose my interest and want to go home immediately.

Strange things happen. I love being a loner, but sometimes i feel sad and pathetic about my loneliness. I realize that i'm a human being and human beings are social creatures. I took the photo above when i was having a cup of coffee, alone. At that time, i was feeling like i need someone to share, to talk, to spend time with, i need someone to love.

I felt like i lost my family when i officialy became a broken home boy. My parents got divorced and it makes me want to start a new happy family. It makes me a true family man. It makes me think that it would be very great to be married, to have a partner to grow old with, to have children to play with, it's like building our own ship to conquer the world and spend the rest of ourlives together inside it.

I agreed with the people who think that true love is such a bullshit, especially when my ex cheated on me. But needing a true love is not a bullshit. I'm feeling that desire, i'm craving for a true love, a soulmate, another loner. I need the right one for eternity. I need a true lonermate.

So, i think could answer the question. Solitude is not a reason to die. Not for me. All i need is another loner.