I've written that i'm a kinda loner and i don't hang out much. But fortunately, i ain't a freak loner who doesn't socialize at all. I admit that i do have pretty good social skills. I've made plenty of friends, but i just don't hang out with them.
Everybody has a best friend. Everybody wants a best friend. Some total anti-socials might not have a human best friend. But i think they have another kind of best friend, like a pet, a musical instrument, a video game console, or even a lethal weapon for psycho kind of anti-social.
Either some friends have attempted to be my best friend, or i've attempted to be their best friend. It never worked out, unless when i was in high school. I met a friend, let's just call him Buck. He was my bandmate and we have the same interests. We're quiet similar; the way we behave, the way we think, the way we judge. It was four years since the first time we met, and we've been best friends eversince.
I met lots of friends from different environments, different hoods. And i haven't found better friend than Buck. I become friends with anyone, anywhere, anytime, and i have some close friends. But i won't consider them as best friends. Cause i know they tend to be jealous ass, backstabbing, opportunist kind of friends.
I have no idea whether it's a gift or a curse, but i have pretty strong sense of detecting liars, betrayers, fakers, hypocrites, opportunists, or whatever it is. I could feel the symptoms when one of my friends start being an asshole.
I had a quite good friend in my high school years back then. He was pretty close to me and he's such a pride-worshipper. And he's typically a jealous ass. He seemed pretty kind to me, but i couldn't resist my sense. And my sense was right. Some friends betrayed him and told me that he talked shits about me when i wasn't around. What a fucking faker. And he's not the only faker i've known.
The most recent is, i've had a kind of 'tail' friend. Let's just call him Nick; a friend who follows me where ever i go. My sense told me that he's such an opportunist jealous ass. He's been using me as his 'social ride' to carry him from one society to another. And yes, he has bad social skills.
And the dissapointing thing is, Nick doesn't know how to appreciate for what i've been doing for him. He looks jealous of me, it's pretty natural. But his jealousy makes him being uncool to me lately, which makes me quiet uncomfortable. He doesn't do it explicitly, but i can feel it.
The way he responds to my joke, the way he looks at me, talks to me, his gesture, those things indicate that Nick's becoming a jealous opportunist jerk.
How could i judge that he's jealous of me? Well, everybody sees us together. Cause as i said before that he's such an opportunist 'tail' that follows me anytime. And i bet, our friends (who thought that we're best friends cause we always seem together) must have compared us. I'm not being an arrogant snob, but people would know who's better between us.
It's quiet natural when a person gets mad when being compared to his/her close friend. Plus, i have another feeling that Nick's having a crush on a girl, which is my friend too, and he thought that i'm hitting on her. So he really considers me as his rival. But he has no guts to show it, so he's being uncool to me, implicitly. Such a weak chicken.
The whole thing got me think that Slipknot's "People = Shit" is goddamn true. No matter how kind they are, how close they are to you, how cool they look, they just equal shit. There is only one great shit, which is your true best friend.
It's proven. My dad has only one best friend. He's been friends since they're in elementary school until now when they're almost 50. They've been best friends for more than four decades. I've been friends with Buck for four years and i hope will be 'til we die.
So, you could have more than one best friend, but there will be only one true best friend.
And to Nick. I know what you think about me, what you really are, what you're up to, i know much more than you think. I owe you nothing and you owe me respect.
Fuck you, jealous-backstabbing-opportunist nerd.
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